I just received a ransom note from the North Somalian Pirate League. They have John. He's being held captive in an undisclosed location, and will be released unharmed....... provided he complies. They have a list of demands he will be forced (at gun point) to read on air tomorrow. As long as he engages the listeners and pronounces all the words properly, they have assured me he will be set free. I have contacted the appropriate Authorities, who have urged me to keep the lines of communication open, and agree with everything they say or want. I will keep you updated.
Tune in tomorrow:
And please join me in praying for his safe return, I've heard this is a pretty rough bunch.