Tuesday, January 7, 2014



It is easy to get stuck in a rut in our current society. We wake up each morning and do the same thing we did the morning before.  We wake up.  We get breakfast. We go to work. We fight traffic. We go to lunch.  We spend the day tolerating the office. We wait for the end of the day and go home in in the reverse traffic that we came to work in. We eat dinner.  We play with the family.  We go to bed. We create lives of safe predictability. We even create predictability for the natural functions of our bodies. Exercise, which in more fundamental societies is taken care of, without concern, by running after
food, running from predators, building shelters, wrestling enemies etc, is, in our
society, regulated by science, and allotted to a given hour of our day.  If you find deep meaning in this overwhelming predictability, then first, I am in awe of your fortunate condition, and second, you need read no further.  If however, you perceive some gaping hole in your existence, like an emptiness that cannot be filled by anything around or in you, then perhaps I can advise you and give you hope in this New Year.

Trying something truly new involves great risk. The greater the risk, the greater the potential rewards. I will give you a few suggestions from my own experience that can perhaps guide you in your quest for new experiences.  I recommend them highly.

You may think that I am making up, or exaggerating the following examples, but, God's truth, I lived through them all.   Here we go:

1.  Ask your wife to sleep on the living room sofa after you bring home a strange woman that you met in a bar.  Make sure that you have never before given your wife any indications that you're anything but a model husband, who would never dream of straying. Although I Have Never Experienced it, bringing home a gay man that you had found in a gay bar might prove to be equally as enlightening. You women in the audience could achieve the same effect by bringing home a Chippendale dancer, and asking your husband to sleep in the garage.

2   Go into work early and sit in your boss's office. When your boss arrives, tell him firmly that he's fired.  Do not back off.  If he refuses to leave, call security.

3.  Go naked to church with a sign around your neck that reads "only the poor shall enter heaven".  I have only tried this in a fundamental Baptist environment. I would be interested in hearing your experiences with different faiths.

4.  Rent a loudspeaker truck or car and drive through suburban neighborhoods saying over and over into the microphone: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore" with the volume set to full blast.

5.  Buy airtime on your local AM rock radio station and, while speaking live, confess every dark secret of your life.

6.  Spend a day listening carefully to every sound your dog makes.  Imagine it is a two year old child trying to quote Shakespeare, but unable to form the syllables properly.  Your dog really is trying to speak to you. Get back to me on this one.

You can easily come up with your own experiments.  I promise you, if they involve great risk, you will receive great rewards.


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